When the thought of the transition to a new chapter could improve your condition, you are entirely wrong. As day passes each day, I am losing bits and pieces of myself. I have two devils on my shoulder who are contributing their voices in addition to mine. I can no longer hear my voice nor the happiness in the songs. Every time I said ‘hahaha’ to people, I wanted to hit myself for being a hypocrite. To be honest, I don’t know who am I anymore. Can I even consider myself to be a friend or human? Lost the ability to love or care for someone makes me feel like a soon-to-be deranged living being. Maybe if I suffer from DID, that would make me feel better, but I don’t suffer from that.
That’s all I need – one more step towards insanity or recovery. Standing on the brink of emptiness, someone can push me down.
I’m tired, guys.